Life Capsule

Is Marriage (or Wedding), Necessary?

“I’m getting married.
“You have to attend my big day!”
“He proposed.”

These words of recent, have never failed to send a reality check or chill into my life of indifference. This is particularly so when men whom I’ve romantically dated or some really close girlfriends tell me with brimming mirth, that I actually wonder if they know what they are getting themselves into.

Marriage is necessary, because at its best, marriage provides a safe environment for individuals to know themselves and be known by others. When a person is married, he expresses his intent and to commit as a partner. Insofar as a spouse can trust that promise, she is able to live in light and create a future by that promise.

Its like a potential employer signing me a 3 year employment contract, and I can make some budget decisions based on that commitment. In a marriage of course, it expresses a far deeper commitment that is unmatched by any other arrangement - also one when the government has no place in the equation.

But does it have to be? So comes after the declaration, particulary in SG, is … buying a house? or living together? procreating? Interestingly, someone just informed me this noon, that couples in France are able to share a permanent bond without any institution of marriage, and yet in all legality, they are ‘licensed’ to produce offsprings and furthermore, with the aid of government funding. Hmmm… 

Now, I’m definitely not against the idea of marriage. I do think that this post centered more on the question of “Is Wedding Necessary”. Perhaps its an indicative of how prominent the wedding is to our present idea of marriage. Well, for the majority of history, marriage was not initiated with a public ceremony. And in several cutlures, co-habitation was synonymous with marriage. Ok, what i’m trying to contend here is really the question, “What is the value, if any, of marking the beginning of a marriage with an expensive & unnecessary (to me) ceremony?”

So what now? My girlfriends getting married, and we can no longer have our impromptu lengthy-gossipy-high-tea sessions, for their time evolve now around either the prep for the ‘ceremony’ or their mates. So what now? My guy friends whom are already married, and we can no longer have a quick kopi session or movie dates? Will the wrath of consequences come doubly hard, because in a marriage, seemingly attempting to cheat is somehow more grievous?

And though this has not happened yet, I wish I never have to deal with the news of an impending marital bliss from people I have romantically involved in. For even when love has faded, memories still makes this harder to swallow than the evil parsley. Perhaps, such scenarios are highly imminent, for as it seems, people who get over me, always come out of it stronger and smarter then when they plunged in.

But of course, if the sequence of events turn out to be such, being me, I’ll still be extending my hands and unleashing my hugs in congratulations. Maybe life is meant to continue with flaws. I am not supposed to throw away jeans even if they are spotted with unremovable stains, because I might have been too focused on them that I missed the beauty of the denim. 

Cold Sore Killer

The previous time cold sore hit me, was a couple of years back. Horrid & embarrassing experience .. could hardly manage a kiss then. This dormant virus woke up yesterday and began its replication process on my lips again. Did a brief search on webbie, and alas, realised that there’s no cure for this virus after all! 

Stress is claimed to be the main trigger for cold sores to break out. Thats what Mr. Doc told me this morning too. And that kept me baffled for awhile .. my CNY break in the past few days have had been rather sedentary. I’d have spent an inordinate amount of time catching up with my sleep and my TVB. So where’s the stress.. well .. now I’m stress .. don’t quite know where’s the stress Mr. Doc mentioned.

Or maybe I do.

Chronicles of Christy

Lets count my misfortunes for today:

1. Got embroiled in someone’s office romance early morning. For that, i even have to fork out a lie .. ma de..
2. In the midst of madness, i have to attend to more than 3 work favours .. as a result, delaying my own schedule by half a decade ..
3. Nearly tripped & fell over two EMPTY boxes. I murmured some expletives .. and someone heard them ..
4. Another paper cut to my collection. This time, on a line of my right index finger ..
5. Someone with a bad heart, has to attempt warning me of unheard noises, knowing well that i’m probably the last one to exit office ..
6. Missed my gym session again ..
7. Met fren for late dinner, whom has unknowingly rubbed off the potent APNN smell from a potent APNN colleague. The stench was horrid ..
8. Have to discover a tiny tweeny cockroach in the bathroom during my shower ..

Lets count my blessings for today:

1. My taxi driver was commendable for his remarkable and skillful driving skills this morning ..
2. There’s an affirmation of some deserving financial news in the next couple of days ..
3. Ordered mackeral fish for lunch. The fish was so big, that i’m able to share it with another ..
4. There’s still stock of plasters in the first aid box ..
5. I laughed genuinely hard at a joke today from a fren ..
6. Mama nagged at me .. but i’m glad, thats her way of showing concern ..
7. Chatted with younger sista for many minutes, and that seemingly feels like a few hours of bliss ..
8. I’m home safely, sanity intact, stomach filled, met my loved ones, breakfast settled for tomorrow, i’m able to blog after some time .. i’m blessed. 

Word of Honor?

A recent MSN-conversation with a friend residing permanently in melbourne, got me thinking.

Me: Wah.. Melbourne is definitely a more happening place than Perth.
JL: Ya.. so when are you flying over to visit me and Cleo?
Me: Sure. Will do. Its only a matter of time … haha
JL: Ha.. okay, I’ll hold you to that!

Its no longer funny. I decided to shut up.

Our conversations usually start with a topic and JL always pop the question like a revival quest and it didn’t matter that I’ve been putting him off with the same answer for more than 2 years since he moved over.

And then, there was my younger sis. While i was peeping over her shoulder & admiring her doing the creatives..

Me: Wah..
Sis: (Shoving me away) Eh sis, you cannot see now.. you are our judge!
Me: (Gasp!) Huh!? When did i agree to be judge? I dun wan, I dun wan ..
Sis: Got… you said you wanna be judge yesterday.

I felt that I had walked right into some bondage trap. I scanned through my half awake mind. Did I promise? Of course I did. I remembered I volunteered too. So I responded in the only way humanly possible.

Me: Ha.. Okay lor.

Apparently, my sis & her beau made a pact to work on some creatives to be presented to each other as gifts, displaying their creative skills - they too free lah. And I’d have casually volunteered last evening to be the judge to their works, and decides who deserves the title of ‘creative genius’. Doubt I’m gonna like this..to make either one party unhappy about my judgement .. I don’t wish to contribute to any of their domestic conficts you see. Particularly when i have a good feeling that there will be deliberate impartiality to pick my sis’s works for the winning title. What can i say .. she’s my sister what.. she’s also the one whom was willing to walk with me to west coast mac for my cravings.. like four o’clock in the morning.. imagine two silly chicks scurrying to mac at some funny hours.

She’s gonna win this contest.

In honesty, I did really meant what i promised most times. And if there’s cases when I don’t deliver those promises, there must be some valid reasons. Either that, its probably a case of the relapse of my mild amnesia.

Nonetheless, this is a very important lesson to share. Promises cannot be made casually & frequently. They need to be meditated thoroughly before given, apparently promises haunts/hunt you down… really well.

I learnt.